Top 5 Quotes from This News Story About a 73-Year-Old Man Punching a Bear in the Face

5. “Tyler said I damn near corkscrewed his head.”

4. “After talking with these two gritty men for a while, it’s no surprise Carl punched a bear.”

3. “This guy’s a jerk, but he ain’t been back since he got smacked by Carl.”

2. “And I raised both hands in the air, and I cussed at him—YARRGHLAAARBLAGH[beep] … y’know? And he looked at me like ‘go eff yourself’.”

1. “The man or beast I run from ain’t been born, and its mama’s already dead.”

If you’re ever in Denton, Texas, Carl, dinner is on me.

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