Crappy Food Critic Hall of Fame: McDonald’s Morning Mac

As I’m sure you’ve heard by now, McDonald’s is going to be rolling out all-day breakfast nationwide at all their franchise locations starting October 6 (a day after my birthday, Mickey D’s, but a belated gift is better than nothing at all). A lot of people are excited, while some are huffing sighs of relief that McDonald’s is finally getting with the program. I for one am optimistic, because thinking about McDonald’s breakfast always makes me pine for my favorite McD’s menu item ever, and if the fruits of my cursory research are any indication, it could be making a return with the advent of the all-day breaking of the fast.

As America’s leading junk-food critic with double-digit readership, it’s important that I review items that are currently available and stay in the now. But indulge me for a moment as we return to the world of 2003. I was a senior in high school, and America was still more or less fresh off a brazen terror attack on its own soil and the first ever election of a chimpanzee as president. But in the midst of the geopolitical chaos, the world’s largest fast-food burger joint unveiled a twist on a classic breakfast item that was ingenious in its simplicity: the Morning Mac. All a Morning Mac is is a Sausage Egg McMuffin with an extra sausage patty. Doesn’t sound revolutionary on the face of it. And yet, adding just a single sausage patty tips the flavor balance of the Sausage Egg McMuffin from simply savory to gloriously divine. If you’ve never tried it, you really should; it will irrevocably change your outlook on everything for the better, forever.

For many years I thought I had hallucinated the Morning Mac. Google certainly doesn’t seem to know much about it, and it doesn’t reside among the current offerings on their website. I’ve continued enjoying it in spirit for over a decade, if not in name, since it’s easy enough to achieve the desired effect for a simple dollar upcharge. But when I converted my fond memories to Google action, lo and behold—what should I find but a commercial of very recent vintage for none other than the Morning Mac:

I don’t think this ad has aired on television yet. At least, it hasn’t to my knowledge. On the Internet, I can only find it at that one YouTube page and some site that appears to catalog commercials. But given the spot above combined with the fact that McDonald’s has been holding onto the trademark for Morning Mac this whole time, I’m anxiously awaiting the potential official return of the Morning Mac. This is more exciting than ten McRib reunion tours. And even if it doesn’t come back, I exhort you: please get a second sausage patty on your McMuffin sometime, and report back to me when your third eye has opened.

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