Category Archives: Crappy Food Critic

Crappy Food Critic Funeral: Johnny Carino’s Sicilian Fire Sticks

With apologies to Shakespeare: I come to bury crappy food, not praise it. Last night, the fam and I had dinner at Johnny Carino’s. As is often our wont, we decided to get an appetizer. I’m not sure when they … Continue reading

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Crappy Food Critic #08: McDonald’s Shakin’ Flavor Seasonings

Hey y’all, what’s shakin’? Chicken McNuggets, that’s what. Those little light brown crispy abominations—you either love them or you hate them. Me, I love them. I’m not super-happy about what that says about me, but it comes from the heart, … Continue reading

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Crappy Food Critic #07: Werther’s Originals Soft Caramels

Once in a supermoon, one of the niggling questions of our age awakens from its slumber to haunt us anew: have our children become too soft? For a few days, we all wring our hands and wonder if we are … Continue reading

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Crappy Food Critic Hall of Fame: McDonald’s Morning Mac

As I’m sure you’ve heard by now, McDonald’s is going to be rolling out all-day breakfast nationwide at all their franchise locations starting October 6 (a day after my birthday, Mickey D’s, but a belated gift is better than nothing at … Continue reading

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Crappy Food Critic #06: Taco Bell Habanero & Ghost Pepper Daredevil Loaded Grillers

Once again, our sub-culinary travels take us through the Taco Bell drive-thru, but it’s not the Cap’n with whom we seek an audience this time….. The Bell’s new Daredevil Loaded Grillers come in three flavors: mild/chipotle, hot/habanero, and fiery/ghost pepper. … Continue reading

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Crappy Food Critic #05: RaceTrac Italian Pizza Link

When I reach the end of my life and the coroner opens me up for the autopsy, his or her first thought will be: “Dang, that guy really liked gas station roller-grill food.” Although the shabbiness of my diet should … Continue reading

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Crappy Food Critic #04: Pico de Gallo Flavored Lay’s

If a new potato chip is sold within a five-mile radius of my job, you can bet your sweet bippy I’m going to notice it. These being an approximation of one of my favorite Tex-Mex condiments, I got doubly excited. … Continue reading

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